How To Deal With An Unreasonable Mother

You thought this blog was only about romantic relationships? Well, it would be, but since I'm a teen, no way. Also, this post is applicable to fathers as well, but in my case it's a mother, so yeah.

There's one thing in common in all people. We all have a mother. And as parents, they tend to be very biased and unreasonable. Not all the time, but it happens every now and then. You can't just let go of these situations, as it's unavoidable.

Story time:

Okay, you all knew this was coming, I live alone with my mom as a 17 year old, what could go wrong?! The answer is: everything. But for the sake of this post, I'll tell you the example that is still ongoing.

On Thursday my mother told me to stay at home and Friday so I can study and clean. Which I did immediately after coming back. So I asked if I could go over to my boyfriend's house to sleep over. (That's what I do every Friday, mind you, this was not a special occasion.) To which she exploded, because apparently, I should've stayed home no matter if I was done with my chores. So I'm sitting there, being yelled at for a question. And after she stopped (so she could breathe), I dared to ask "Why can't I go?". Oh, was I wrong to do that. I've been called a lot of things, but what I got was... let's just say a hell of a lot worse than anything else.

After hours and hours of her shouting at me, I gave up. I basically ran away. I still ended up at my boyfriend's, so I got the necessary lesson from his mother. Then, on Saturday (today) his father and grandmother gave me some pieces of advice.

Mother in law:

It's her house, her rules. You endure whatever she says and does. You can only make peace with her like that.

Father in law:

Try talking to her calmly, shouting won't help.

Loving grandma:

Try to bear through for the next couple of years, or talk to your father.

Uh-huh. So I took the last advice, 'cause I'm not enduring anymore abuse. I reached out, but unfortunately he can't help me either, so I'm f-ed.

So, how can you deal with a person who's the only person keeping a roof above your head, but is still a generally crappy human to be around? Well, let's analyze the advice I was given.

Enduring

This one is relative. If it doesn't happen too often, then it's possible to just bare through and leave when you're old enough. Unless it's some kind of abuse. Then get the hell out of dodge, or call the police. Although, if you live in country where they don't take this seriously, then you're in trouble. Don't worry, I'm in that situation too.

Talking it through

The worst part of dealing with an unreasonable mother is not being able to win logically. No matter how good your reasons are, or how well you've built up your argument, you will always be on the losing side. And it sucks. So you're back to square one, enduring whatever she says.

Asking someone else for help

This is the one that can actually work. So if you're in trouble, but not enough so that you can deal with it yourself or take legal action, just talk to someone. Go to a friend, sibling or if you have nobody to turn to, then please, for the love of god, message me! I don't want people to end up trapped in a toxic household where they constantly feel bad.

And what will I do? I'm currently awaiting the next round of yelling. There's been silence since I started writing this, so there's probably not much time left until she comes in again to tell me how much of a worthless person I am.

So, unreasonable parents. We rebel for a couple of months or years, but eventually we realize that fighting doesn't do anything, what most of us do as teens is just take anything they say and do to us. Even when it's not fair. And quite honestly, it's the best thing we can do, except when abuse is involved.

Then, as I said, contact someone. Or, if you can't, you can consider running away, but only if you know your options. This shouldn't even come up as a thought, but sometimes getting away for a little while is what you need. So know where you're going, otherwise you'll get lost and will have to sleep behind a dumpster. But this is a whole other topic for another time, so this is about it.

Having a parent who doesn't listen and just sticks to their own thoughts like they are facts sucks. But until you turn 18, you can't do much about it.

If you have any advice for people who have this problem, leave it in the comments, or tweet at me.
Or check out the other posts about Family.