If you are one of those people who likes to have fun without strings attached then you need to read this post. There's some crucial information right here and we will also talk about certain situations which you might need to know about. But even if you are just debating becoming friends with benefits with someone... You need to think about whether it's worth it or not. First of all, lot's look at the very obvious benefits when it comes to having someone that you can always hit up with a booty call. Pros For most people, it's the physical aspect. Orgasms are always nice. They make you stress-free and fill you up with happiness hormones that can have an effect on you for up to a couple of hours. How would you not want that all the time? Unfortunately, in most cases, only friends with benefits relationships are the only ones that can provide you with a lot of sex for a long period of time. If you get yourself a boyfriend or girlfriend then it's much di
Love is associated with that special spark. Butterflies in your stomach. Your breath being taken away whenever you see each other.
Well, it's a cute thought, but unfortunately, it isn't the case in most relationships. Around the first anniversary, it starts to become boring and less adventurous. You become mundane to each other and you begin to wonder whether you're with the right person or not.
Let's analyze this first. Why do things become boring?
You get comfortable with each other. And that comes with a lot of things. A lot of disgusting things. Farting and burping are now completely okay and you've probably had to watch them puke after a night out. And it's okay.
But you also let go of yourself. You stop trying to look good for your partner and because of this, you stop caring a little. So what if he sees you without makeup? So what if you wear one of his dirty hoodies? It's all good, you don't judge each other.
These things are just what's on the surface. But they're the most obvious ones, quite clearly.
But these things shouldn't make a relationship... Bad. You finally got comfortable each other, you feel safe, you feel at home with each other. It's a new phase in your relationship, embrace the change and act accordingly.
But a lot of people break things off at this point. Because they don't think it's love, because they want the spark back, because it's not that interesting anymore.
It's okay though. Some people aren't mature enough to understand that this phase will always happen.
And if you're one of these people, then I'm sorry to break it to you, but things don't happen like in the movies. You won't be in that lovey-dovey phase all your life. It's just not natural. Relationships mature as well and you need to cater to its' new needs. Welcome to adult dating.
So, what can you do if the spark is gone?
Well, you can try to create it again. You can make your relationship feel like in the beginning and it will be great for a while. But it will deteriorate again. And again. And again. No matter how many times you try, you will never keep the spark. All it does is hold you together for the amount of time it takes to get attached. After that it's hard work.
Also, this is the point of true commitment. You have to talk to your partner about it, ask them how they feel about the relationship and if they take it as seriously as you do. If not, then you can decide whether you want to stay or not. Although, the "boredom" will break you apart eventually.
If they are just as committed, then good job, you have some hard days ahead of you while you go through the transition, but you've got yourself a good partner.
If you accept that your relationship has changed (not in a bad way, of course), you can move past these changes. You can grow with it and with your partner. The hard part? Choosing to stay and love every single day. Before this, it was effortless, but now it will be a bit more tiring. But if you want your relationship to continue, then you will need to work for it.
The perfect relationship doesn't just happen. It's the hard work of two people.
But these things shouldn't make a relationship... Bad. You finally got comfortable each other, you feel safe, you feel at home with each other. It's a new phase in your relationship, embrace the change and act accordingly.
But a lot of people break things off at this point. Because they don't think it's love, because they want the spark back, because it's not that interesting anymore.
It's okay though. Some people aren't mature enough to understand that this phase will always happen.
And if you're one of these people, then I'm sorry to break it to you, but things don't happen like in the movies. You won't be in that lovey-dovey phase all your life. It's just not natural. Relationships mature as well and you need to cater to its' new needs. Welcome to adult dating.
So, what can you do if the spark is gone?
Well, you can try to create it again. You can make your relationship feel like in the beginning and it will be great for a while. But it will deteriorate again. And again. And again. No matter how many times you try, you will never keep the spark. All it does is hold you together for the amount of time it takes to get attached. After that it's hard work.
Also, this is the point of true commitment. You have to talk to your partner about it, ask them how they feel about the relationship and if they take it as seriously as you do. If not, then you can decide whether you want to stay or not. Although, the "boredom" will break you apart eventually.
If they are just as committed, then good job, you have some hard days ahead of you while you go through the transition, but you've got yourself a good partner.
If you accept that your relationship has changed (not in a bad way, of course), you can move past these changes. You can grow with it and with your partner. The hard part? Choosing to stay and love every single day. Before this, it was effortless, but now it will be a bit more tiring. But if you want your relationship to continue, then you will need to work for it.
The perfect relationship doesn't just happen. It's the hard work of two people.
What do you think? Tell me in the comments or tweet at me.
Or check out the other posts about Dating.
Yup! Completely agree! Some people are good at falling in love but they're not good at staying in love and that's why relationships die most of the time in the 'comfortable stage' vs 'sparks fly' stage.
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